The Do’s of Christmas Present Bribing: Teen Edition

If you’re a young teenager or hoodlum, please stand up, please stand up! Just kidding, you’re not Slim Shady. However, if you’re someone that is suffering from your parent’s lack of gift(s) effort, then you’re reading the right article. The steps it takes to bribing your parent’s to give you the presents you want and strongly desire is very simple, and when I say simple I mean pretty darn simple.

The first step is love. As a young but rather mature teenager, you must show unconditional love to your parent’s on a daily basis, especially during Christmas. As much as you would rather not want to partake in the childlike activities such as hugging, kissing, or “I love you” you must show some sort of affection to draw them in. Just don’t let it get to the point where their wanting to read you bedtime stories, that’s just off limits. Without love, there is no hope. But with love and hope, comes presents.

The second step is negotiating. In order for you to receive all the presents you want, you must first do what your parent’s want you to do. In this case it would probably revolve around you cleaning your house toilets, cleaning out the kitty litter box, or simply doing dishes. I know it may sound ridiculous but it must be done. Once you show all your hard work, effort, and responsibility around the household, your parent’s will soon be under your fingertips. It will shortly be present galore in your Christmas Time future.

The third and final step is the “I’m moving out” or “You don’t love me” act. By saying these strong yet wonderful words, you’re leading yourself down the road of success. You’re parents will soon start to question all their actions towards you, and eventually go into guilt mode. They’ll try everything in their power to regain your love and affection, and even bribe you with presents so you don’t leave. If that doesn’t sound like a victory, then you need to go check yourself.

This article won’t disappoint. All it takes is a willing teenager and the desire to achieve present bribery. Are you up for the challenge?